How do you stay so positive?


 



As anyone who follows me on Instagram (@peterleonard200) can tell you – I love a good meme. I only post those that either make me chuckle or which resonate with me in some way. One I reposted yesterday resonated massively with me. 


As Chief Executive of The Centre for Emotional Health I spend a great deal of my time talking about the importance of emotional health. I’m passionate about it because I have seen how it has benefitted me. I have written elsewhere about my experiences of so-called conversion therapy and anti-LGBTQI+ rhetoric at the hands of the Church of England and the damaging impact it has had on me throughout my life. Years of therapy and support from friends and family mean that although this can never be undone and the scars remain, I have moved on from allowing it to hold me back. That said there are days when something happens which triggers the memories and the symptoms arise again. When it does occur these days there is one dominant emotion which rises to the surface – anger.

Some people struggle with this particular emotion, I know I have in the past, somehow fearing that I shouldn’t be feeling it and it was a ‘bad’ thing, but anger is neither good nor bad – it just is. What matters is what I do with it and I use my good emotional health to manage it. Firstly, I feel it, I allow myself to be angry, I don’t try to ignore it or suppress it – that way lies trouble! Having felt it I then consider my personal power – what can I do about it? I can’t change a whole institution and neither can I undo the damage done to me. What I can do is remember how far I have come, that despite what happened to me I have succeeded in so many ways and that I now lead a fulfilling and purposeful life without that particular toxicity in my life. I have dealt with what I can, I have moved on and I am healing. The anger subsides.

In today’s social media world there is a huge temptation to ignore our tricky or strong emotions and to always focus on what is positive and only present that to others. But that isn’t genuine, it isn’t honest and it isn’t emotionally healthy. Overly chirpy positivity which doesn’t acknowledge the difficult emotions is not positive at all – feeling our emotions and dealing with them in an appropriate way is.

This weekend I was triggered and I was angry, I felt that anger and I used my good emotional health to navigate it. I hope this resonates with some of you as well. If it has then please message me or comment below. How do you encourage yourself to feel and deal with those tricky emotions? If you want to know more about emotional health then visit www.emotionalhealth.org.uk

 

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