I need to talk about social media...


Dog Selfie from Instagram

 I need to talk about social media. I am old enough to remember when it didn’t exist (heck, I am old enough to remember when mobile phones didn’t exist but that’s another post) but bizarrely I don’t remember what that time was like? Is that because my memory is poor (anyone who knows me is screaming yes at their screen right now) or is it because social media has become so all pervasive that very few of us can imagine our lives without it. Even those who are not part of the social media circus will know that it exists and feeds into (controls?) so much of our everyday life. Everything from Governments announcing policy decisions on it to people spending an entire day watching cat videos.

I have a mixed and complicated relationship with social media, at times spending vast amounts of time looking at stuff of no real relevance, other times using it for valid work purposes and sometimes seeking validation through the ubiquitous selfie. However, recently I think I have fallen out of love with it and I am not sure what to do about that. Yes, I appreciate the irony that I am posting this on social media.

My connection with social media, like most people my age, began with Facebook. It was a great way to stay in touch with people, share experiences and reconnect with people. The novelty soon wore off and it started to feel like a chore updating it, although as I am now receiving the daily “you posted this X years ago” messages I am reminded that my early posts were really not that interesting!

I expanded to Twitter (now X) shortly after this – I didn’t use it very often initially but then it became a good place for two things – interesting posts about a range of subjects which made me think and humour, I well remember the live commentary that myself and several of my friends used to post on Eurovision night each year! This platform slowly became more and more toxic, accelerating in this direction after Mr. Musk purchased it and after several aborted attempts I finally left and deleted my account.

Sometime amongst all of this online excitement my daughter convinced me to join Instagram and for a while this was my platform of choice. I loved the visual nature of it and the ability to post a range of images. During a patch of poor mental health it became something which I used for self-validation and because a not very healthy option for me. Nowadays the only content is interesting places I have been, memes I find funny or insightful and pictures of my dog Lyra.

I dabbled briefly in Snapchat but it was at that point I became aware of how much of my time social media was taking just to look at it let alone do anything productive and so I left this platform. I have never tried TikTok or BlueSky and am also aware that there are many other new platforms I know nothing about. I feel that this may be a good thing for me.

There are very many good things about social media. I have made many new friends through it, I use it for recipes, suggested workout routines when I am in need of inspiration and in many ways it has become the modern equivalent of a photo album for me. If I were to come off social media completely I would miss all of these things. In addition, I would definitely get FOMO - what’s going on in the world that I am missing – the actual wide world as well as the world of my friends and family not to mention the worlds of the people I am connected with virtually but don’t know because somehow that feels like it matters too?

How did I do all of this before social media? I think I watched the news or read newspapers and magazines? I think I arranged to meet people more often and chat through what was going on for them or at the very least spoke to them on the telephone? I think I searched the internet for recipe or workout inspiration, I think I looked in books and spoke to friends? All of that is still there it’s just less ‘invasive’ than social media.

What about work? I am frequently told that I have to be on social media for the good of my organisation. Is that true? What if I wasn’t? I’ve been on LinkedIn for a while now but have only really used it properly since doing my current role at The Centre for Emotional Health. In that short time LinkedIn has changed dramatically and become much more noisy and less insightful that it was. Like every single social media channel, it now seems to throw up more adverts than it does posts which inspire or educate me.

Yet despite all of these irritations and my general disenchantment with it I can’t quite seem to leave social media. There seem to be subtle reasons to stay and fear associated with not being connected in this way. Am I addicted? Possibly yes. Is it good or bad for my wellbeing? Undecided, it can be both good and bad. Do I want to leave it all and wipe my accounts? Often yes but it isn’t something I seem to be able to do at the moment.

This isn’t an informative or inspirational post. It is my doing my thinking out loud, which is the best way for me to do it. Maybe that in itself is a reason to stay on social media?

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